Citizen Cane

I was going to write about my favorite Christmas candies. I was going to write it for you.

Then I realized there were little to pick from, I didn't know what to do.

I scoured the web, from Yahoo to Google,

And with little time left, my problem was two-fold.

There are like, NO Christmas candies. I was thinking of making a list, but there is no list to be made. I tried, people. I tried. I didn't try very hard, but hey, I tried. So, I have no other alternative subjects when it comes to Christmas candies other than the almighty minty, curved goodness of the candy cane. Rhyming is optional, I'm not getting paid to rhyme, and I'm not getting paid in general. 

It's shaped like a cane, or is it a J?

Why is it that color, why is it that way?

Like most good things, this comes from Germany. You've got to admire the Germans, they always make good stuff. According to folklore (Again, like most things) it was developed made created by a Colognian choirmaster for the children. I'm guessing he told the candy maker "Hey, I need to shut these kids up, but I want it to be quasi-religious" 

As it was around Christmas time, the children were singing and learning about the nativity. Shepherd carry canes, and there was one of those in the nativity scene, right? Boom. The candy cane was born. Ironically, created around Christmas, almost immaculately, and it's about the only thing people can think about during the Christmas party. Ain't I just the worst?

A little while after, the recipe for a red and white hard candy was published, and it was then curved like a cane. Hence, the candy cane. You can tell by the way it's made of candy and shaped like a cane. Unsurprisingly, the only two main ingredients are sugar and peppermint. 

That slogan can only work with candy and nothing else. Don't even think about what I mean about "Nothing Else" You'll end up on Santa's naughty list, and even worse, on an FBI watchlist. To be honest, I can't tell which one is worse.