Bride of So I Went to Party City

Well, I went inside Party City again to see what they had to offer. Sadly, most of the main stuff from last year has made a return. Thankfully, there was a bit of new crap stuff that I was able to take high-quality photos of.

You want solicitors off of your property on Halloween? Chuck one of these dense monkeyfarmers at 'em and see what happens. 

What's so funny? What do you know that I don't?!

Oy! 'Ew left tha bloody gauze drape on the stairs?

It's a witch's broom! Just kidding, it's the janitor's broom.

Trick question: Spiders are not friendly.

Well, since you asked so nicely, I think I'll just leave and never come back.

You know what's uncomfortable? Fake eyelashes. What's more uncomfortable? GLITTER IN YOUR F&#KING EYES!

"Professional"

I'm pretty sure this is what happens when you eat too much red phosphorus.

"Ugh, I have a knife in my head? Moooooom! I have a knife in my head again!"

Yeah. You're gonna have to be a bit more specific, hat.

Larry: Paul!

Paul: Yeah, Larry?

Larry: What are those kids into these days?

Paul: Lessee, how about those Minions from those four awful movies?

Larry: How can we make one of 'em a costume for ladies?

Paul: I dunno, just put a Minion on a shirt and call it a costume!

(And then they were both executed for treason. What a lovely ending to this story.)

 See: Above joke.

No comment.

No, this is what you give grandpa when you all hate him and want him to die.