Santa's Slay Review (Some Spoilers)

Add your own holiday pun here.

First off, I should state that holiday-themed horror movies have been around for a while. A guy running around killing people while dressed as Santa Claus is nothing new either. Funny to think that, specifically, Christmas-themed horror movies predate the original Halloween. But no, we're not looking at Black Christmas or Silent Night Deadly Night. No, we're looking at something well past traditional horror. If you ask me, modern horror movies that turn out to be silly aren't trying to be horror movies. Any "so-bad-it's-good" horror movie is not trying to be funny. I've seen movies that are written from the ground up as "comedy" horror movies often fall flat, and it is sad to see. When you have a movie that isn't trying to be funny on purpose like The Room, you end up with comedy gold. I've seen movies that try to be funny on purpose that are just depressing to watch and have made me consider where I stand as a human being, like most movies Ben Stiller in in. Where does Santa's Slay stand?

If you ask me, it's more of a black comedy than a horror movie. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, actually. So yeah. The movie stars WWE Hall of Famer Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus. Yeah, a Jewish wrestler is playing Santa Claus, strap on in. Santa in this movie is actually the son of Satan. If you've ever switched the letters of Santa around and got Satan, you're about as smart as the writers of this movie.

So, Santa has been cursed to give presents for 1000 years. It's now 2005, and those 1000 years are up. It's up to a couple of high-schoolers and an old man to stop him. If you're asking for any substance to my description, I'm going to tell you it'll be impossible to give you any without actually reciting the script for you. There's a kill with a candy cane, a Jewish deli owner staked with a menorah, and a reindeer-buffalo that eats a person off screen. Is it worth your time? Hell yeah!

My last thought before totally spoiling this movie is that I love how it sets itself up for a sequel and how it didn't follow through with it. It's like it exists in its own universe, and how ridiculous it is. This movie is everything a stupid slasher movie needs. An over-the-top villain, over-the-top kills, and over-the-top dialogue.

Jack's Pile of Pages rates Santa's Slay a 7/10. It's worth about one watch, or several if you're high or drunk. Might as well hit the 'nog and rent this movie!

My Final Thoughts: It's like this movie was written for Goldberg. It even ends with his famous catchphrase: "Who's next?"