Son of So I Went to Party City

You know, it might get harder and harder every year to find funny, unique things. Next year, it might not even be Party City. At least going there is free. Let's see what I found.

Buuuut my camera screwed up. Apparently, Blogger doesn't like photos from my IPhone. I'm sure they've worked before, but apparently, it doesn't like it. So the high-quality photos I took are useless. So, we're going to do something different. We're going to take the fight to Party City's website and scavenge for stuff to laugh at.

This is a glow-in-the-dark candy bucket. Frankly, we never used buckets. We could afford them, mind you, we just didn't use them. A pillow case and a van are all you need. A glow-in-the-dark bucket just confirms that you've got weak wrists to everyone outside.

If I haven't made this joke already, I'll make it now. This is called the "Supreme Elsa Costume". When I actually went to Party City, I saw that it was on clearance for ten dollars. "ELSA SUPREME! ELSA DISNEY CASHCOW! ELSA ON CLEARANCE"

Now this is a decoration you get if you want to be a dick to somebody. This is known as a "Pumpkin Screamer". When the lights go on, this thing screams. Imagine, if you will, hiding this small pumpkin behind something in your grandma's kitchen. Now imagine that she doesn't know you put it there. If you found pleasure in that thought, you might be powerfully insane.

Thanks. Now I'm not going to drink at your party, Tom. I knew I smelled something wrong, and I'm pretty sure absinthe isn't supposed to be blue, like Tide.

Now this is realistic and evil. It's the "Peeping Tom", the most realistic and common of monsters. Seriously, this is really creepy. It's strange to consider the scariest monster can be a normal human being. DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?!

If you wear this shirt, you're asking to get punched by a drunk person.

Ah! Scary!

Well, screw you too. I drink the boos to forget that I'll never own a house.

Pipe or Electric? I know a church that has an old one they don't need.

This was listed as a "Friendly prop". If looking malformed and creepy is considered friendly, consider me Mr. Rodgers.

I'm guessing if you've ever worn this costume, there's a 4 in 5 chance you haven't seen Scream. Also, if you haven't, watch Scream.